I feel so stupid bahahahaha. /stuffs self with peanut butter jelly sandwiches
Sorreh Abi, next time I do the dirty work for you.

No ideas how to redo final project! I'm going down.

Pen, Keith, Dawn, you guys do read my eljay sometimes right? Are you reading this now? PICNIC SOON AT BOTANICAL GARDENS CAN? I was looking over the Sentosa picnic photos and I realized I missed it so much. I don't mind getting a tan lol. I even got a list of food to make. Sorry I can't bring Bit along.

 K like what the shit you doing Jakku?!

 Right now my mood and behaviour is tops. I think I'm nice enough to the people and friends I care about and I don't remember grudges like I used to. I haven't gotten angry for a long time. I hope it remains like this forever.

Sometimes I get taken over, I become over-sensitive to the words of others, I become very critical of my self image and my head just hurts so badly. My mood can switch from positive to negative radically. It sounds like I have BPD right? Well...

I'm not sure when I'd turn back into the horrible person that lives within me. If I ever do or say something that hurt you, please know that I will regret it soon. I'm not asking for forgiveness but I really do love you all and when I realize that I've hurt you, I feel remorseful.

I told myself not to sigh so much but well, it's inevitable XD. Sigh.

Human behaviour is so intricate and baffling.

 *lets out a small sigh*
He's still cute as ever.

I pretended not to see him but I glanced for a second and he had a slight grin on his face. That same expression whenever I see him around. I can't tell what he's thinking at all.

I'm so beat and hungry. Surfing for dreamweaver tutorials, getting stuck in dumb places... depressing situation is depressing.
Right now I'm waiting for my faculty mate to come back so I can ask how to move on for my dreamweaver project. God knows where he's gone!

 Bit enjoys her new surroundings. She's having fun with the gate and door rug, but never goes beyond the gravel flooring...

My sister's boyfriend makes an attempt to carry her but he failed to hold her properly XD He held her by her bottom and Bit's torso was like hanging out all in front LOL. He panicked and I took over.



She surprisingly poses for the camera!! When I get out my Canon she stands in a very dignified way and stays still until she hears the camera go. I don't know, maybe she's just afraid of the camera. Haha.

Bahh, rushed home to pack and turns out that I wasn't really needed! So I missed the party in school. Well it's okay, the last time I stayed for an late night opening party with some friends and it was actually quite boring for a dork like me ahahaha. I'd rather stay at home to chat with my bruther Ken or play silly computer games. Sigh. Dorks are dorks, ultimately...

I suppose I can house my guitars and amps in my new home. My initial plan is to put them at Alvin's place first, but I can't imagine being away from my musical instruments...To think I wanted to get an electronic keyboard.

13 November is approaching! Assessment day!
30 November is approaching! Ken's 到着の日!

I'm going to write Xmas cards to all my overseas friends again this year. The number has increased. I'm going to send it to people who I don't talk much even.

3 or more to Japan (language exchange friends)
1 to China (Zhang He, language exchange friend)
1 to Taiwan (Benson, the hairdresser student who did my hair)
1 to France (NATTY!!)
I'm wondering if I should send one to Dustin this year, it might be inconvenient since he's like some househubby now...

Can't think of more right now at this hour... please tell me if I'm missing you out!

It's amazing what break ups can do y'know... No I haven't been through it but I see that girls usually become prettier/fitter/do more 'productive' or self-beneficial stuff when they leave someone. Or they do something drastic to their appearance (change wardrobe, get tattoos for the first time etc etc).
Hm, does this mean I'll look better single?

I went to town to walk around yesterday. I think there are some noticeable changes. Gosh I don't have a life!! I need to hang out properly...
And perhaps do something different. I'm a mountain tortoise. Maybe I'll date someone. But the work stuff comes first and I'm not really interested in dating anyway. I just feel that I need to update myself before I get too old.

Too much shit to do but I can't focus. God save the mountain tortoise.

Y'know, sometimes I do think about Philip. I got reminded of him ever since I realized he was standing behind me in the lift. I didn't realize he was in the same lift until I noticed his classmate beside me. Then I could totally see his reflection in the dark glass door and he seemed to be staring at my messy outgrown haircut. I hope he is looking at the lift door trying to ignore my presence.

I know right, it's so weird. I don't talk about him for the longest time and suddenly I bring him up again. But he's gotten more good-looking haha. Bekku doesn't understand my little fixation with neat hair and Philip's appearance. I'm not intending to like him (or anyone at all) again but I think I'll fangirl a bit about his slitty eyes, sharp facial features and jet black hair. Oh yes, I realize I still like older guys, so I really won't like him again. 

I have so many ideas in my head now. So much information to digest, so many projects to act on, so many things to find out. Dawn says she can't wait for assessments to be over. I agree to some extent because I'm so not ready to get assessed with my half-assed work, but I really do want it all to get over and done with. Then maybe have a picnic with my beloved class chums. I really enjoyed the Sentosa picnic we had previously. I hope we can have another in Botanical Gardens. I'd make as many dishes as I can.

I realized that my chums and I are really different. And they are all very different from each other too. One is a clubber-froglet pixie lesbian, one is an Ah Lian who also happens to be one of the class toppers (very rare species of Lian), one is a Chinese-Muslim convert, one is an Indonesian President wannabe, one is an overaged misfit, one is a half-deaf underconfident skinny boy who is actually very skillful in technical issues we are clueless about and one is a Fanboy of Sorts who enjoys cooking and Victoria Secret shows. I'm the oddball who magically fits in (a little more than half the time). I love 'em all. I wish I could do something better for them instead of having hardly anything in common (except The Beatles with Dawn) and just occupying a seat in a group meal.

John Lennon wrote Don't Let Me Down for Yoko didn't he? I swear he sang "don't ret me down" in some lines. Oh John old boy, you'd be a great comedian.

 Making my second website now, with some inspiration from modual.ca, a website Khairil gave me. Awesome layout it has. The creator of that website has got to win some kind of award.

Anyway, reading something on wikipedia about the song "Hey Bulldog"...

I LAUGHED.
"Hey Bulldog" is a catchy, upbeat song indeed. Yellow Submarine is made of awesome and trippiness. I'm still on a Beatles loop haha, think it will end when my semester does, when I have time to explore other music.

I'm carrying my bunny (we've done away the names we thought for her. It's cuter to call her just Bit. This is for real!) like a baby and I was singing and cooing to her like one, too. You all know how 'moody' and 'emo' she is. Well in the dream she began smiling like a silly baby and it was soooooo cute. I called my mother and sister over and they started to coo at her too XD I know it's physically impossible for a rabbit to smile but it happened in my dream. Man it was so adorable. *cuddles Bit*

I think Bit and I are a little closer now after years. She has gotten used to being carried and doesn't kick up a fuss like she did before. Then she would hop onto my lap and stay still as I stroke her velvety fur. She used to hop away from me when I got near! I think now she realizes that I have her bunny treats XD Bunnies are the best. All bunnies!!